I was preparing for our Praise Team practice tonight, and was swept into the presence of God in total abandon. I was listening, playing, and singing this song called The Stand from Hillsong, and I was overwhelmed with God's Word, God's Love, God's Providence, God's Holiness, need I go any further. I was reminded of when I first heard the good news of Jesus Christ and totally understood it. I was at Bayonne First Assembly of God, and I was in the basement of the 15th Street church in one of the small rooms with an accordian door. I was about 5 to 6 years old, and I was sitting in class, scared to death of everyone.
My mom and dad just decided that it was time to go to church and teach their kids about God. Man, am I glad Mom and Dad decided to walk with God that one day, because I would have been so lost without the admonition and training of the Lord my parents gave me. Back to the story… I was sitting somewhere on the lefthand side towards the back and was nervous, and the thought of this God was too much for my little brain. Then came snack time, and if anyone knows anything about me and food… well I never skip a meal (except for fasting of course). They were handing out juice and saltine crackers, and then they were about to get to me, my stomach churning, I was going to actually eat in Sunday School. The helper stuck her hand in the box and… crumbs, no crackers. Boy, the tears welled up, but I held it together and tried not to cry.
I remember the feeling of being lonely, and sticking out like a sore thumb, the curly haired dork with no crackers! Then our teacher said we should pray for God to multiply the crackers just like in the story of the fishes and loaves we just learned. Oh Boy! I clenched my eyes shut so hard, and I agreed in prayer with the teacher who seemed to pray for a very long time. When our teacher told us to open our eyes, the most glorious thing was in front of me… more crackers. I felt like little David who took down the Giant! Of course as an adult I realize that either someone ran to the corner store or a closet somewhere since God would probably not have bothered with brand new packaging. That day I believed! I believed God could do anything!
Here many of us may stand today in the trials of life, some of us wavering in our faith or even walking away from God. We have tried everything, everything except waiting on God. We can become so impatient with God's timing, and compromise our very souls becuase we think we figured it out. When I came running back to God in 1999, I was not so arrogant to think I had it figured out, I knew better. I was taught by my parents, Sunday School, youth pastor, evangelists, and our senior pastor what it meant to walk with God, and so I had all the head knowledge… enough to stump Christians who would try to get me to go to church while I was in the military. No, my blockade was I felt I went too far… God could not forgive my worthless soul, who tasted the things of God, but like the Prodigal Son decided to go my way anyway.
I was still in the military and I started going to church and helping the youth group with games and media stuff. I was signed up to go to this youth camp with the kids. What was I thinking! It was at that camp that I ran to the altar and committed myself to Christ, it was so real, so authentic! I needed Jesus, I did not care what other people thought, or how it would effect realtionships… I WAS SAVED! I broke off friendships that took me down, I stopped drinking alcohol completely, I stopped cursing, and I stopped running!
So today I stand, not because I can, but I stand because He died for me. I stand in awe of God! When we take the time to talk out and remember all that God has done in our lives and those around us, we can stand and see the God of this Universe is active in our very history. What will your history book say? You see God wants all of us, and when we compromise we rob ourselves of the grace available to us. God will use people to minister to you, but He will often use you to make an impact on others. My youth pastor probably prayed for me and wondered if I would ever turn to God, if he ever made an impact on my life. I know as a youth pastor I have felt that way sometimes, and it seems you are just treading water. My youth pastor made an impact greater than he knew then, and his wife who prayed for crackers that morning helped propel a skinny, awkward, curly haired boy in to a life of faith that will last for all eternity!
God loves you so much, and His grace and mercy extend beyond your sin! Repent, Believe and Stand!
